Why Tonight?
by erica'spen
Summary: I wanted to change the breakup scene with Noah and Allie. I put in some things I remember from my breakups and what I felt at the time. I hope you like the changes this is my first fan fic. Please feel free to comment.


Please note that I do not own the characters Noah or Allie. Although owning Noah would be nice ;-)

I opened the study's door. In shock I saw that Noah wasn't sitting in the chair in the library anymore, he left. He must have heard exactly what my mother had said. No, he can't think that I eventually will believe the same things as her. She believes that he'll never be good enough for me, but in my heart I know that love him. I panic and start to run outside

I'm relieved to see that he's still here. "Noah, I'm so sorry" I say as I start running toward him. He looks so sad, so hurt and it's my mother's fault. I feel stabbing pains in my chest because of the look on his face. He's crushed and he's holding back tears.

"Allie, don't do this, you aren't making it easier." He's leaning on his truck; I can see his hands shaking.

"Don't do what? Noah, that's how she feels, not me. I love you and I want to be with you." He keeps backing away as if he's afraid to touch me.

"Still, you know that this won't work. We have to face this reality."

"The reality is that I love you and you love me."

"It's not just that Allie, I'll never be able to give you the life that you're living. You'll have better opportunities in life we just end it now. You can forget about me someday..."

"Stop it! Why are you saying this? Don't I mean anything to you?"

"Yes you do! This is why I'm doing this. It's been fun-"   
"FUN?" I cut him off, I'm furious. "Are you joking? Gee Allie thanks for the great time and all but..."

"No Allie, I didn't mean to say it like that."

"I know it wasn't like that, what we have is real Noah. Why can't you see that?"

"Why can't you see that you deserve a better life than what I offer?"

"Why would you say that my life is going to be better without you?"

We stand there looking at each other. This is the end and I'm starting to feel it. No, I'm starting to feel nauseous, I look at my hands and they're shaking just like Noah's. How could he do this to me? I start crying, and I knee down to the ground close to the dirt because I'm starting to feel dizzy. He comes over to me and finally touches me. He starts crying too, and he has his arms around me while I'm kneeling to the ground.

"How can you do this? How can you take all of this away?"

I stand up and he slowly rises up too. He puts his arms around me and hugs me, sobbing.

"If you don't love me anymore than say it."

"It's not that I don't love you Allie, I'm doing this because I do love you."

I break away and pushing him a few feet backwards. He shocked to see me get physical.

"No I will not accept this unless you tell me that you don't love me!"

"Allie, I can't say that."

"Say it!"

"No!" He starts crying harder, sobbing and looks just as nauseous as me.

"Say 'Allie, I don't love you anymore.' If you can say those words I'll let you leave and never look back. I'll let you go and live your life without me."

He grabs me, holds me. For a few minutes we're listening to each other sob. I feel his breath on the back of my neck, and I can't help thinking this is the last time I'm going to feel him. I move my head back and now we're looking into each other's eyes. His eyes are red with heartache reflecting his broken heart. I can't help but want to kiss him. I'm hoping this kiss will bring us back, that he won't be able to turn away from me. That he'll see that I'm the one worth living for. Slowly we start to kiss. I taste our tears mixing together, and it hurts my throat. He pulls me in closer and we're kissing deeper and more passionately. I'm starting to feel out of breath and dizzy but I keep kissing him as if I'm clinging onto the only thing that will keep me alive. Then he pushes me away.

"Allie I'm sorry I can't do this to you."

Finally, he decided to not end it. I try to hold him again, but he pushes me away. Wait, why is he doing that?

"No Allie, I can't be with you anymore." He turns away from me and opens the door to his pickup truck and climbs inside. I feel my heart break with the final blow of hearing him start the car engine to get away from me.

"Noah, Please." I plead through tears.

"I can't stay any longer Allie, if I stay we'll be together by the end of the night. I can't let myself do this to you. I love you." After saying that he starts to drive away.

I pick up a rock and I throw it at his car and it lands in the flatbed with a loud crash.

I shout, "NO YOU DON'T NOAH! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?"

I keep staring at the road, long after the dust settles, hoping he'll drive back to me. I wait for an hour, and give up after my legs are tired. I go back inside my house and look around my house; my parents have gone to bed. I thought they would be hanging around to gloat. There is no way I'll be able to sleep; my life has just crumbled in front of my face. How can I pick up the pieces? Why would I want to? I'm never going to see him again. My mind flashes to the last kiss, I thought we would be together after that. I thought he would feel what we have and snap out of it. He didn't. Maybe he'll come back, we just made love earlier tonight, and he has to come back. How could he do this? Why tonight of all nights?


End file.
